28 Oct Core Transformation
Tale of the Day:
I want to share another example from my recent client work, of how quickly Core Transformation can take us from incongruence and upset to profound states of being that completely change the old experience. (See my earlier blog post for a more thorough introduction to the process or get access to a free video intro to the Core Transformation process lead by Tamara Andreas.) My client had friends who would ask her to do something she didn’t want to do, but she still felt obligated. Recently when she said “No,” to them, she felt stressed about standing up for her boundary. This same reaction happened to her in a number of different social situations—she felt a part of her in her stomach that felt shaky. I invited her to thank this part of her for being present, trusting that it has some positive intention even if we don’t yet know what it is. Then I invited her to ask the part, “What do you want?”
“Its afraid—alert and afraid of changes,” she told me.
“Thank the part for it’s response,” I said. “And invite the part to step into what it’s like to already be alert and afraid of changes. Then ask the part, “When you are alert and afraid of changes, what do you want through already having this that is even deeper or more important?” With each new answer, I repeated the above instructions, resulting in the following additional outcomes this part of her wanted:
2) stability and balance
3) freedom from fear/nothing threatens me
4) I can be myself
5) I exist/I am
This last outcome was the part’s Core State (The deepest, most important thing this part wanted). I said, “Invite this part to step into what it’s like to already have ‘I am’ and ‘I exist,’ as an ongoing way of being. After all the only way to experience a Core State such as this is just to step in and have it. Nothing else needs to happen first. Then ask this part, ‘How does already having ‘I am’ and ‘I exist’ as a way of being make things different in general?”
She said, “This part wants acceptance from me, not from other people. ‘I am’ accepts me completely. And even accepts people who don’t accept me. It accepts either way, and there is no judgment… Great acceptance of all situations… And also there is guidance, that I can live with great peace and great love, and I need just listen and follow it from this ‘I am.’ And it’s so easy and so simple when there are no judgments and you just follow this. Simple… Easy… This is love. Wow! (brief pause) You know I can see this so clearly now. Guidance comes from ‘I am.’ Wow, so simple!”
In the next part of the process I invited her to ask the part “When you already have ‘I am’ and ‘I exist’, how does already having this Core State naturally transform or enrich… (and one at a time we explored each of the part’s previous outcomes). Here is what she said about each previous outcome:
4) I can be myself—“With I am, it’s impossible to not be myself. It’s only possible to forget. This is so funny!”
3) freedom from fear/nothing threatens me—“Here nothing threatens and fear doesn’t exist. Only love is. It’s a different kind of love, not love in the common sense. Oh, it’s impossible to be out of love! When I think I’m not in love, this is also in love, it’s just a thought.”
2) stability and balance—“This is real stability and real balance. In this state it’s impossible to be out of stability and real balance. I can’t imagine how it’s possible to be not stable.”
1) It’s afraid—alert and afraid of changes—“Nothing is alert, nothing afraid. Just peace.”
When I invited her to ask the part how it’s Core State of “I am” transforms or enriches what used to be shakiness and stress in social situations, she said, “There’s no shakiness. And in these social situations, now I see that people were wanting me to be different than who I am.” Then she realized, “The part used to be afraid of love, afraid of spreading love. Now, next time it’s afraid, I will know its afraid of love being spread, wow!
I invited her to ask on the inside if any part of her has any objection to this part continuing to experience it’s Core State of “I am” into the future.
“No,” she said. “In the future I just ask and listen, to connect to love. Every difficult and confusing situation, I can connect with love, connect with ‘I am’, connect with ‘I exist.’ Then she did a little dance in her chair. “I don’t need to feel a victim, just love!”
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