01 May Core Transformation
Tale of the Day:
I recently met over Skype with a young woman living in Italy. Danielle told me, “I want to become more confident with myself and be more courageous in following my goals, and I want to get free from this blocking sensation that is preventing me from signing up for a study abroad program I want to go on.” I asked her how she would know when she had what she wanted. The first thing she said was, “I’ll sign up for the program tomorrow.” Then Danielle also added that she’d “feel it,” when things had changed.
In this first and only session, I guided Danielle through the Core Transformation process. I invited her to step back into a specific memory of when the blocking sensation occurred. Then I said, “You can relive this experience now, seeing through your eyes, hearing through your ears, and feeling the feelings you felt at the time. Since you didn’t consciously decide to have this blocking sensation, it’s as if some unconscious part of you generated it. You can begin to sense this part of you in your body or around you. Where do you sense this part?”
“In my hands and legs,” she said, opening and closing her hands.
“Great, now thank this part for being here, because you can trust that it wants something positive, even if you have no idea what it wants. Ask this part, ‘What do you want?’ Then relax and turn inward, and notice what response comes back from this part. The response may come in an image, feeling, sounds or words.”
“To be safe,” she said.
“Great, now thank this part for this response and invite it to step or breathe into what it’s like to already be safe, fully and completely.” She took a breath in, visibly relaxing. I continued: “And now ask this part, when you are safe, fully and completely, what is it you want through being safe that’s even deeper or more important?”
“Not to feel pain or get injured,” she said.
“Great, thank the part for this response, and invite it to step into what it’s like to already not feel pain or get injured, just the way it wants. Now ask the part, ‘When you already don’t feel pain or get injured, what is it you want through having this that’s even deeper or more important?”
“To run and Jump.”
“Great, thank it for this response.” I guided her to continue thanking this part for its responses, inviting it to step into having what it wanted, and asking it, ‘When you have this, what is it you want through having this that’s even deeper or more important or more core?’ Here are the rest of the answers Danielle received back from the part:
- Feeling free
- Going wherever I want
- My life
- Being able to feel it deeply (shivers)
- Transmit it
- Necessarily cool
When Danielle’s part had the experience of necessarily cool fully and completely, and I invited her to ask the part what it wanted through having this that was even deeper or more core, Danielle said, “that’s the deepest.”
This interested me, because usually the deepest level is described as Peace, Oneness, Being, Okayness, Love, etc. We refer to these as Core States. What they all have in common is that they are states of being that can be experienced regardless of what happens or doesn’t happen. Necessarily cool didn’t sound to me like a Core State, but because English was Danielle’s second language, I suspected that this could in fact be a Core State that she was describing in English in the best way she knew how. Her experience was what mattered, not the words she used to describe it. So I asked her, “Is necessarily cool a state of being that just is? Is it a state of being that can be experienced regardless of what happens or doesn’t happen?”
“Yes,” she said. Her face was relaxed and her voice tone congruent, so in fact this was the Core State.
“Great. Invite this part of you to just enjoy having necessarily cool fully and completely as a way of being. Often our parts think that we need to first do certain things, or get certain things before we can experience a Core State such as necessarily cool. But the good news is that these Core States are states of being, not states of doing, and the best way to experience a state of being is just to step into it and have it, as this part is already experiencing now. So ask this part, ‘When you have necessarily cool fully and completely as a way of being, how does this make things different?’ ”
“Things are easy!” She said with a smile. “Life is like a natural flow.”
I continued guiding her through the next part of the Core Transformation process, inviting the part to discover how having necessarily cool as a way of being, transformed or enriched each of the other things the part had wanted. We went back up the list in reverse order until we got to: “And ask the part, ‘How does having necessarily cool as an ongoing way of being, enrich and support you being even safer than you were before?”
I guided her through the additional Core Transformation processes of Growing up the Part, Timeline Generalization, and Parental Timeline Reimprinting (all of which you can learn in this 3-day Core Transformation Training I’m teaching in the Netherlands, fall 2017).
A week later, on March 3rd Danielle wrote:
“Hey Mark, I’m good, you? It has been good! I booked for this summer and for another experience in the forest :): Really happy … I told my mom the session was really useful and I feel it’s working a lot and I’m so satisfied and positive!”
On March 23rd Danielle added:
“Hello, how are you? 🙂 I wanted to tell you that I really feel the changing. Thank you very much. Probably I’m gonna ask you for another session in a month to work on a new goal.”
[All names and identifying information have been changed to protect the privacy of my clients]
Tool of the Day:
Core Transformation Exercise:
- As you’re going through the day and you notice a feeling, behavior, or thought that isn’t working well for you, realize that since you didn’t consciously decide to generate this feeling, behavior, or thought, it’s as if some unconscious (meaning automatic) part of you generated it.
- Where, in your body or around you, do you sense this unconscious/automatic part of you? If you’re not sure just guess, or ask, “If there were a part of me generating this feeling, behavior, or thought, where would that part of me be?”
- If you want you can place a hand over the area where you experience the part. Thank this part for being here, because even though you don’t know what it’s positive purpose is, you can trust that it has some positive purpose for being here. (This is one of the basic presuppositions in NLP, and this alone can be profound for someone who has been thinking they needed to “get rid” of parts of themselves). You can stop here if you only have a few minutes, or go to step 4 if you have more time.
- Ask this part of you, “What do you want?” then relax and turn inward, and notice what response you get back (this response may be in an image, feeling, sound, or words). Thank the part for its response, and invite it to step into experiencing what it’s like to already have what it wants fully and completely. Ask, “When you have this, what do you want through having this that’s even deeper or more core?” Again relax and turn inward and notice the first response that comes back from the part. Repeat this as long as you want, or until the part can go no deeper. Invite the part to notice how already having this deep-level experience enriches, transforms and radiates through each of its previous answers, and the initial experience you started with.